In The End
by xHallowxFairyx
Summary: Rated R for angst, tragedy, and drama. Romance too. HieixKurama. Hiei tells a story about his relationship with Kurama, but it takes a twist in the end. R&R. No flames please. Chpt. 4 up!
1. Memories

DarkGhost42: I own neither YYH nor 'In The End'. That belongs to Linkin' Park and YYH, belongs to someone else. (can't remember all names)

**In The End**

In the end...it all seems pointless right? Isn't that how life is supposed to feel when everything turns into darkness, or is there something more to it? All I've learned is that if you trust the one person you thought would never leave you; everything will plummet into the shadows. It all happens...in the end.

_**It starts with one...**_

_**One thing,**_

_**I don't know why,**_

_**It doesn't even matter how hard you try**_

_**Keep that in mind**_

_**I designed this rhyme,**_

_**To explain in do time,**_

_**All I know,**_

_**Time is a valuably thing,**_

_**Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings,**_

_**Watch it count down to the end of the day,**_

_**The clock ticks life away**_

I'll tell you a story about a time when, everything seemed so perfect. It was a paradise, but then, it all seemed to turn sour, and my life took a twist and sent me plummeting in the other direction. I thought my life would turn out like I had always wished, but then again...that never happens, does it? No one receives as many hugs they want. No body receives how much power they want, and no one can own the person they love. Nothing is real anymore.

_**It's so unreal,**_

_**You didn't look out below,**_

_**Watch the time go right out the window,**_

_**Trying to hold on,**_

_**Didn't even know, I wasted it all**_

_**Just to watch you go**_

_**I kept everything inside,**_

_**And even know I tried,**_

_**It all fell apart,**_

_**What it meant to be,**_

_**Will eventually be,**_

_**A memory of a time when...**_

I remember that time perfectly. He was all I had dreamed of, and I could watch him for hours without averting my gaze. His smile welcomed me everytime I would appear before him. I would flush whenever he graced me with his presence, but I didn't want him to notice my feelings. I could only admire him from afar. My dreams were the only time I could truly live...and see the smile only meant for me.

_**I tried so hard,**_

_**And got so far,**_

_**But in the end,**_

_**It doesn't even matter,**_

_**I had to fall**_

_**To lose it all,**_

_**But in the end,**_

_**It doesn't even matter**_

Yes...I would dream and feel what I had always wished. I was all he needed. Those words...he would speak them to me every time, but I knew it wasn't real. None of it could ever be real. I knew he'd someday be taken from me. He would forget...and I would become nothing to him. I decided I already was nothing. The walls became thicker and my heart glazed over with ice. I couldn't look at him anymore. I couldn't speak to him...for if I did, I feared I would reveal secrets meant to be hidden...forever.

_**One thing,**_

_**I don't know why,**_

_**It doesn't even matter how hard you try**_

_**Keep that in mind,**_

_**I designed this rhyme,**_

_**To remind myself,**_

_**How I tried so hard...**_

_**In spite of the way you were mocking me,**_

_**Acting like I was part of your property,**_

_**Remembering all the times you fought with me,**_

_**I'm surprised it got so far,**_

I became nothing more than a mere shadow from that point on, until one day. He called me to talk to him. I couldn't refuse his presence, but I kept my distance. He would glance at me and then at the ground. I would feel my heart pound and my mind would scream at me thoughts that had haunted me for years without me taking notice. He reached out his hand and touched me. I would only recoil and shrink farther into darkness. I wouldn't let him give himself up to me. I was worthless to anyone and he deserved better. But he spoke, and those words caused my reaction to turn not into fury, but passion. And then...

_**Things aren't the way the were before,**_

_**You wouldn't even recognize me anymore,**_

_**Not that you knew me back then,**_

_**But it all comes back to me,**_

_**In the end...**_

_**You kept everything inside,**_

_**And even though I tried, **_

_**It all fell apart,**_

_**What it meant to me, will,**_

_**Eventually be a memory of a time when...**_

He was gone. That kiss we shared that night. Those words we exchanged. The air we both breathed. It was all the first and last time. He loosened from my grip and fell. He couldn't fight the darkness. He couldn't see the light calling. He became consumed and was stolen from my heart and left me with a scar that would never heal. How could he leave me like this? Why did he hurt me? The one I loved and trusted most, gave me the largest wound of my life.

_**I tried so hard, **_

_**And got so far,**_

_**But in the end,**_

_**It doesn't even matter**_

_**I had to fall**_

_**To lose it all**_

_**But in the end,**_

_**It doesn't even matter**_

As I watched his grave in despair, the thoughts of agony raced through my conscious mind beckoning me to them. I tried to shove them away, but the more I fought, the harder the task became. I decided to grip what fate had given me. I had my memories, but how long they would keep me alive, I had no idea.

_**I've put my trust in you,**_

_**Pushed as far as I can go**_

_**For all this,**_

_**There's only one thing you should know**_

_**I've put my trust in you,**_

_**Pushed as far as I can go,**_

_**For all this, **_

_**There's only one thing you should know**_

The engravings on his tombstone were made in calligraphy. The writing beautiful, a perfect tribute to my beloved. I traced the writing with my index finger and felt the tears sting my eyes. Why did this happen? What went wrong? The rain beat down hard, but I ignored the pain of the droplets trickling into my eyes. They were watered enough already. I picked up the rose lying on the top of the soil. I'll tell you a story, about how everything seemed like my very own dream. But in the end...it really doesn't matter anymore.

_**I tried so hard, **_

_**And got so far,**_

_**But in the end,**_

_**It doesn't even matter**_

_**I had to fall**_

_**To lose it all**_

_**But in the end,**_

_**It doesn't even matter**_

And so...my story begins.

A/N: Hey guys! This will be my first OFFICIAL angst, and if you don't like it, yo can tell me, and I'll change it. But...I want criticism, not flames, kay? I don't like flames. And, sorry to you Kurama fans who hate it when Kurama is killed, injured, maimed, and anything else like that. (gulps and looks at Cheysuli) Well...remember to review!! Mushi mushi minna san!


	2. Realization

**_DarkGhost42_**: Remember, I don't own YYH and....anything else I may put in this chappie that's not mine.

**_Thanks_**: I'd like to give a special thanks to my bud, **Shadow Priestess** for reviewing and putting a bunch of positive words down for me. Ur a pal!! And, also, thanks to** guijar2002** for reviewing. I am truly grateful to u as well. LoL. Also, thanks to **inuyasha614** for being the very FIRST reviewer of the story!! (throws confetti) YAY!!! And also, last but not least, **Mocha Cocoa** for giving me some advice and calling me a good writer. I will take ur advice (hopefully) and make the writing more....um...detailed is the only word I can think of. ON WITH THE STORY!!

**Chapter II:**

**Realization**

I slept in a tree in the park as usual. It had been the same as every boring day in that god forsaken city. I had been off probation for a year...but every so often, I would take trips to the human world to visit certain 'friends' of mine. I would see if Yukina had returned from Koorime Island and would always see how He was doing.

Kurama and I had been friends for as long as I could remember, but somehow, to me he had changed. I had always been so drawn to the kitsune in a way, and I had always thought it was friendship, but now I wasn't so sure. Perhaps my friendship had grown even stronger over the years and I hadn't known. But if this was friendship, why did I suddenly feel so blissful whenever I saw him?

He strolled down the sidewalk cautiously glancing over his shoulder every few seconds to check and see if those love crazed school girls were following. I actually felt sympathy for my companion. Companion. It sounded like we were in love. I even love? It was a foreign emotion to me, but I supposed that everyone could feel the same things, correct? I wondered, after that, if it was love I had for the kitsune. I'd just have to find out for myself.

He entered his apartment and laid a kiss on his mother's cheek before trotting up the stairs to his room. He set his school bag on his desk and flopped onto his futon to gaze up at his ceiling. He seemed to be dreaming. Did he dream of me, I wondered. I watched him closely taking in every moment, every breath. His eyes glistened and were glazed over with an unknown happiness. I raised an eyebrow as he began to giggle uncontrollably. Had he gone insane?

"Hiei..." he whispered. I could still hear it. I knew when he spoke my name. I could read it on those perfectly formed lips of his. I moved to a lamp post outside the window and peeked inside. He sat up beaming out at me with a welcoming glance. I took it as a sign he wanted me to come inside. I didn't hesitate and quickly changed positions. Once I stepped onto his carpeted floor I felt warm arms pull me into an embrace. I choked on the air I breathed and my eyes fluttered wide open with shock and fear. "I've missed you, Hiei. You've been gone for so long. It's like you've forgotten I even exist. Why don't you ever visit me anymore?" he spoke dejectedly. I opened my mouth to respond, but unfortunately, no words escaped. I decided to stay silent and hope he wouldn't be disappointed without an answer. He released me and moved in front of me. Taking my chin in between his thumb and index finger he tilted my head upwards and stared me in the eye. I couldn't bear to see those eyes.

"Kurama...don't..." I stammered. I tried to free myself, but he turned my head with more force this time so that I had no choice. I closed my eyes tightly and prayed he'd let go soon. Why did I not want to be with him now? This is what I had always dreamed of. I had missed him too much, and now that I had him with me again, it all felt so wrong. Why? What was happening to me, I couldn't explain. These feelings, I couldn't tell right from wrong. I couldn't see light or darkness. Everything turned red and I did all I could. I fought it back. But instead of fighting the darkness itself...I hurt him. "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" I screamed. I lashed out with fists full of fury and sent him onto the floor with blood spraying from his mouth and onto the floor staining the rug. His eyes filled with tears as he stared at me. My eyes widened at what I had done.

"H-Hiei...I didn't mean to...I'm...s-sorry..." he choked. I felt my body fall numb. What had I done? I had hurt the one person who cared for me most. The one person I cared for most!

"Kurama...don't...don't be that way. Why? What have you done to me!!? I wanted...I wanted to see you, but now that you're here with me, all I want is to go away. I want to disappear forever. I can't stand it when you look at me that way. It reminds me too much of myself. I see the fear and anger hidden underneath your lies. Don't...please...don't look at me like that," I babbled while reaching out and wiping the tears from his eyes. "I just want you to...I just...want to be alone. Don't look for me. Don't find me. Don't save me, Kurama. Just...let me be for the time being. My mind is screaming at me, and if I don't obey, I could end up injuring you again. I won't take that chance."

"Hiei...please...what is it? Let me help you. I wanted to see you too, and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. I didn't know...I just wanted...to make you happy." I didn't move. I didn't speak. The silence swallowed everything and all noise escaped from hearing distance. Time froze at that instant and all I did...was run. I ran as far as I could. What had I done to him? What had I done to myself? What cruel trick was Fate playing on me now?

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

I could feel the rain. I didn't care how soggy I felt. I didn't care where I went. I didn't care about anything at that moment except escaping it all. I wanted him to recede from my thoughts. Kurama had changed me somehow. I finally realized after retreating from this feeling the entire time that I had actually been running to it head on. I had fallen right into the pit of despair. It was love that had now consumed me, but was love suppose to hurt so much? Is this what all humans lived their useless lives for? I grasped my chest as I collapsed to the soaked grass of the Forest of Fools.

"Kurama....Kurama...KURAMA!!!!" I cried. I felt like I had betrayed him. He would probably hate me now. I had just left him. I knew he was crying...for me. And I didn't even care. "You idiot!! What have you done!? Who do you think you are!!?" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I couldn't take this pain in my heart. If it was love I held for Kurama...then I would have to burn it all. He had melted the ice, and no matter how long it took, I would repair my fallen walls. No one would ever seduce me into an affair of such unwanted loyalty. Partnership was fine, and friendship was plenty, but love was too much for me. I would avoid him. I would speak of him no longer. Kurama would have to become a memory of a time when I was weak and feeling. He would find another, and I would become nothing. So, I decided to start it all over again. A new life, and a new beginning, without Kurama.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day started out poorly by my view. I awoke to the annoying sounds of children below me. Young D-class demons I suspected. I grunted. Such childish ways would cause their fall in the end. Being so naïve in the demon world meant an early death. I had learned quickly or everything to know about survival. I watched as they continued their merriment and joyfulness.

"Pitiful..." but suddenly, one of the children caught my eye. His eyes...they were exactly the same. "K-Kurama..." I whispered. I touched my lips and almost believed I could feel his name coming from me. "No...he's gone. I can't be thinking about him like this. He's worthless to me now as I am to him. I just need to let it go now." I grasped my head with my undamaged hand and shut my eyes forcefully. His image wouldn't disappear. His voice still sounded so clear. And his eyes...why couldn't he just leave me alone?

I looked down again and saw that the children had vanished from view. I groaned as I leapt down from the tree and strolled through the forest aimlessly. I really had no motive, but now there was no real reason to return to that world. I could return to that time. I didn't need the ache and suffering any more. My heart had become too fragile.

"What will I do? Where do I go? Do I even have a purpose anymore...or was it lost...with him?"

**A/N:** Tell me if that's a cliffy, kay? Cliffies are gooood. Hehheh...once again, thank you to those who reviewed. I would have to say this is my suckiest chapter yet. (even though it's the second one) -- Tell me what you think, and if you have flames...try not to make them too bad, kay? Tell me if this really brings tears to your eyes. It'll become a real tearjerker in later chapters, and if you want, you can listen to music like 'My Immortal' by Evanescence to get a depressing feel to this. I listen to 'In The End' when I type it. Ok...that's all for now guys. REVIEW!! Mushi mushi minna san


	3. The End of It All

**DarkGhost42:** I don't own YYH or any of the characters. Oh, and the title of this chapter is kinda misleading. Heh...

**Chapter III:**

**The End of It all**

I rummaged through the brush of the forest none to quietly, but my mind had been to painstakingly full to care. So much had happened in one day. I had pushed the one I love away out of...fear? But didn't I say I have no fear? Then, if it wasn't out of fear, what was it? I stumbled clumsily into a clearing in the Forest of Fools and glared up at the sky. The clouds had moved in and were creating a muggy effect to the area. I disliked this weather and the taste of the air before the rain. I decided to retreat...but where to? I could never return there. No...I simply couldn't bear seeing that face...those eyes again.

I continued to stroll until I came across the portal into the human realm. I stared at it blankly as if listening to its soft spoken words that no one but I could hear. I reached out my hand and slipped it through. The chill of the dimensional break caused me to shiver. Was I really about to return to that world again? Yes, though I couldn't meet him face to face...I had no problem with watching from the shadows. After all, that's all I had become anyway.

I reached the other realm with ease and ended up landing outside of Master Genkai's temple. I decided to pay a visit and see if anyone had decided to see her. I flitted up to a tree branch and once I landed, I could make out the sounds of crying. And the voice, it was familiar. It was Kurama!

I peered through a doorway and saw him in a corner of the room curled up and weeping into the sleeves of his button down, white blouse. He would murmur my name in between sobs and each time, it struck me with more pain. I clutched my chest as I watched him. Why did it hurt so much? Why did love feel this way?

"Hiei...why? What happened to us? What has happened to you? Where have you gone? What will I do without you here? Please...Hiei...don't leave for good. It just can't end this way," he whispered. Kurama...don't ask such things. Not even I know what has happened. You've done so much to me, and I can't forgive you for it. I'll never forgive you for toying with my emotions.

I couldn't stand it any longer. I burst through the door and grabbed him by the collar, slamming him into the wall. The blood rushed out from the back of his head and he stared at me with one thing in his eyes. Fear.

"Hiei...what...what are you...doing?" he choked. I tightened my grip on his neck and growled in fury.

"Who do you think you are!? How dare you play with my emotions like this!! What right do you have to peer inside my soul like that?! I'll kill you for it!" I screamed in his face. He struggled beneath me.

"Hiei...what are you talking about? I haven't done anything to you. Please...you're hurting me," he whimpered. I smirked and began to cackle.

"Good! It's nothing compared to how you'll feel in a minute fox!! I'll show you all the pain you've put me through! I'll show you how you've torn my soul apart! I'll send you to the depths of oblivion!" I continued to threaten him. He tried to move but realized he had been backed into a corner.

"Hiei...why? Why do this?" My grin disappeared and it was replaced with an angered frown. He continued to stare at me that way and his eyes were now stinging with tears. I wiped away the streaks he had created on his moistened cheeks and glared at him.

"Why? I'll tell you. The reason is that you've melted it all away. When I first met you, Kurama, my heart was solid ice, and no one had ever melted or broken it. But suddenly, after all the time we spent together, you had melted all of it away and I finally saw what I wanted. But...I knew I would never have it. It was always too good for me. So...I decided to become a shadow, and then maybe...maybe I could forget. But I can't! It continues to haunt me! I hear the voices calling me in my head, and it's driving me crazy don't you see?! I can't take it anymore!! It's all a lie and I won't fall into this trap!" I confessed. And then I felt it. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek and drop to the floor. And then another followed it. Soon enough, I knew I had begun to cry none stop and I rested my head on his chest with my hands still holding him firmly to the wall.

"Hiei...what happened. What is it you wanted? I'll do anything to help you." He placed his arms on my back in a comforting way, but I wriggled out of his grip and snarled.

"You can't help me! No one can help me now, especially not you, you selfish cold hearted..." I cut myself off. What had I just said? That was nothing like Kurama. He had always had a smile for me, and he had never treated me coldly before. Perhaps...the reason for this was, I saw Kurama as myself, and I didn't **want** to see it. I was afraid of myself and what I could do to him, so I ran. I ran from all the pain like a child and I left him to find his way through the darkness on his own.

"Hiei?" I noticed I had just embraced him and set my head on his shoulder. How could I have let my mind play such tricks on me? I didn't know what to do any more. Running had now become pointless, but to give in to this feeling would be even more foolish. I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked Kurama in the eye. His fear had been replaced with confusion and concern.

"I can't see anything clearly anymore Kurama. It's all become a blur to me, and I just don't know how to handle all of this. I can't keep thinking about you. You're what's been haunting me Kurama. You're what caused the ice to melt. You're what I desired," I whispered to him. He stiffened like I board and his eyes became large emerald pools of shock.

"What are you saying Hiei!? If you wanted me, why did you run!? What was the point in running!? Don't you know I'd do anything for you!? I would go anywhere to find you and I'd do anything to help you! Why are you so foolish!? I can't believe you'd think of me in such a way! Not after all we've been through!" he screamed in my face.

"Well take a look at yourself! Do you think I'd even be able to have you!? You'll find someone Kurama, and then I'll be nothing but a memory to you! How dare you call me foolish anyway!?" I stopped at that last sentence. I then smirked and snickered under my breath. I raised my head to look him in the eye. "You're right, Kurama. I am foolish. I'm foolish for falling in love with someone like you!!" He gasped and nearly fell over.

"In....l-love? You're in love with me?" he stammered. I cackled and kicked him into the corner.

"I was, Kurama, but now, I just see that it would all be pointless. You're a waste of my time! I don't need you! I need no one!! I'm fine on my own now! So stay out of my way and stay out of my life! It's all better for the both of us if we keep our distance!" I then unsheathed my sword and neared him slowly. "And just to make sure I never see your senseless face again...I'll kill you on the spot."

"Hiei...you've gone insane! What nonsense are you speaking!?" I continued to walk. My face had been covered in shadows. I suddenly heard the thunder roar and the lightning flashed revealing the fear hidden in Kurama's eyes.

"I've had enough of you, Kurama. I can't go on like this. One of us has to leave, and I've decided who, kitsune." I lowered my sword quickly and all that I could see after that...was red. The blood sprayed from his stomach and I heard his scream of pain. I pulled my sword away and watch his body fall limp and collapse to the ground. I stared at his lifeless corpse for a minute. What had I done?

**A/N:** XP that was bad...and you don't know for sure if he's dead. If he was, then that would cause the story to go off course, but if he was, then I have some ideas. You'll just have to wait and read the next chapter to see if he lived or not. BWUAHAHA!!

**Cheysuli:** O.O You killed him!! You killed my Kurama-san!!

**Ghost:** Oh, get over it. You don't know for sure if he's dead yet or not. (evil grin) I love cliffies. Well...all I gotta say now is...REVIEW!!!! Oh, and **Sterling Guijar**...was that angsty enough? (smirk) Hehheh...


	4. Changing the Past

**DarkGhost42:** I don't own YYH or any of the characters...and...this is the only name I could come up with for the chapter (nervous grin)

**Chapter IV:**

**Changing the Past**

"K-Kurama..." I whispered as I ran my finger across his ghost-white face. My eyes were glued to his lifeless body and I couldn't find the energy to blink nor take my eyes off of him. My heart ached at what I had done. My anger had driven me mad, and this was the price I had to pay for letting my emotions get the better of me. I cursed myself inwardly for doing it.

I had always said that emotions would cause everyone's downfall. All we needed was anger and hate, and then the entire population could live. It's ironic how love is supposed to make you feel happy, yet it kills like a blood thirsty vampire on a full moon.

I suddenly picked up the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. I couldn't be seen...not after what I had done to the person I loved most. So I fled and watched from a distance to see the shocked and disgusted expression on the poor soul who witnessed his unconscious body lying sloppily on the wooden floor.

The door slid all the way open and Botan, Keiko, and Master Genkai all entered to find Kurama on the floor lying peacefully in an uncomfortable position. Keiko gasped and nearly fainted while Botan's eye filled with tears. Genkai's face stayed stern and she moved towards him.

"W-Who could have done this Master Genkai?" Botan stammered. Genkai shot a glance my way and a chill shot up my spine. I froze on the spot. Was she about to expose me for the murderer I was?

"It was someone with a lost and angered soul. Their emotions must have mixed and caused them to be driven insane. This usually happens to people who have certain emotions that have been locked away for quite sometime. But...I cannot tell who did this. All I know is..." her gaze fell to the floor and her eyes glistened over with a barrier so that I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"What is it Genkai?" Keiko asked anxiously. Genkai looked at them and sighed.

"Kurama...he is still alive. What ever hurt him didn't get right to the stomach, so he'll live. We just need to get him to emergency care ASAP. Botan, go to Yukina and ask for her assistance," Genkai ordered.

He was still alive. After I had damaged him so dreadfully, he was still alive. Now I was starting to wish I had killed him for good. He would haunt me now. He would never forgive me for what I had done. There was no way he would return my feelings now. What mess had I thrown myself head over heels into?

Botan nodded at Genkai's orders and flew away on her oar. Genkai then explained to Keiko the herbs that would be needed to cure him and sent her away. She then turned her attention to me.

"Hiei...I know you're there. Come down here." I didn't feel like quarreling, so I obeyed her demands. I landed swiftly in the doorway and lowered my head. I couldn't bear to look anyone in the eye, especially not her. She knew the truth. "Hiei, look at me. I can't lecture you with you acting like a mope!" My eyes shot up and she glared at me, but it wasn't a glare of anger or shame...it was a glare of understanding and sympathy.

"I understand why you did this, Hiei. I once had mixed emotions like you, and like yours, mine were hard to control as well." She looked to Kurama and my gaze followed hers. "Love can be the most powerful of weapons if not handled delicately. You aren't use to it, so this is the effect it had on you. You reacted too soon and it only led you to more pain and panic. You're afraid of rejection are you not?" She then shot her gaze back up to me. My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat.

"I-I am...or...I was...now I just don't know anymore." She moved towards me and held my chin up with her index finger and thumb. She stared at me for a minute. She had reached into the pits of my soul and sucked out all I felt and thought. She then took her right hand and slapped me cold across the face. I stumbled backwards and glared at her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" I hollered. She snarled and bit back an insult.

"Hmph...it was to knock some sense into that thick skull of yours! After all you've been through, you wouldn't be able to tell whether he loved you or not! Isn't it obvious, Hiei? When you're fighting...he's the only one speaking your name constantly. He can feel your pain, and the more you're hurt, the louder he speaks it. It's as if he's been trying to send you a message. And when you're alone, he looks at you, but not like he looks at the others. He shows you his compassion and all the love he can muster. He loves you too, and this is how you repay him!!? You deliberately try to murder the one you love!" Her words sliced through me like an old rusted knife. I flinched and collapsed to my knees in front of her.

"Don't you see? You need to straighten it all out now, Hiei. You need to show him that love. Once you've given it all up to him, you can release that breath you've been holding for so long. You can relax your stressed mind and you can finally smile with confidence and trust knowing you'll be together like that forever. Of course he'll feel confused at your new found words and feelings...but it's only natural for you to act in such a manner. He'll understand as I did. Don't be afraid anymore." I couldn't move. Her words rang in my head. **_'Don't be afraid...' _**I was afraid. He would surely push me farther away after I had tried my hardest to rid myself of him. But...he was Kurama. I was his best friend...and he loved me. He would love me no matter what the cost. I had to do something. I had to talk to him again.

"Thank you...Master Genkai..." I mumbled quietly while continuing to stare at the ground.

"Yukina should arrive soon. You may visit Kurama when he's healed. But for the time being, leave and go clear your thoughts. I'm pretty sure I've gone over the edge with being a Drama Queen, but I'll just say this last thing. You need to follow what your heart tells you, not your mind. Your heart will keep your feelings safe, it's what keeps you alive Hiei. Don't let it break by your silence." I nodded and flitted from the temple without a second glance back. I would finally set it straight.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

I watched as Yukina left Kurama's room and walked out with a pot of remedy she had stirred up for him as a healer. She looked up as she saw me leaning against a wall against the temple entrance. She smiled at me sweetly and bowed.

"Good afternoon, Hiei-sama. Kurama is feeling much better now. He does have a bit of a problem with his large intestine, but it's nothing to really worry about. It's just a little scratch. Oh, and by the way, he wanted to talk to you. You can visit him now if you wish. Well...I must take my leave. It was nice seeing you again! Goodbye!" she chirped before leaving my site. I smiled at her as she left. There was no point in me scowling at her because of matters that were none of her concern. But...Kurama wanted to see me. What for? What would he say to me? Was it because he was going to reject me?

I sighed and decided I wouldn't know until I saw him, so I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. I flitted to his room and stood silently in the doorway waiting for him to notice me. He did without even looking up from a pad in front of him. He stared at me, but did not smile.

"Come here, Hiei." His tone sounded so flat and dead. It's like he had become a ghost now and it was all my doing. I took a step forward and he made a gesture for me to advance even more. I walked until I was in front of his bed and he motioned for me to sit, so I obeyed.

"I wanted to show you something I had been working on for awhile. Many people don't know this, but I've taken up an interest in art, and I decided to make my first piece something truly special. Do you know what it is?" he asked me. I couldn't find the strength to use words, so I simply shook my head 'no'.

He handed me the pad in front of him and I stared at him for a second before averting my gaze. My eyes opened wide with amazement. He had drawn me, and he'd already shaded it too. It was amazing...but the look I had. It seemed so distant and disturbed. What did it mean?

"I see you don't understand, Hiei. It makes sense to me. You usually weren't one for art." He chuckled lightly and then continued. "It shows how you always seem. You're lost in your own mind Hiei. You seem like a helpless child sometimes. Being so naïve can cause pain, and that's why you did that to me. I understand, and I forgive you for it. I could never stay mad at you." He looked up and smiled. It was a warm whole-hearted smile full of trust and understanding. I smiled back. He didn't hate me for what I did, and that meant he still cared, but...I had revealed my deepest secret to him. How did he feel about that?

I stared down at his drawing of me and brushed my hand across my eyes. I could see the hurt and fear in them through his work. He knew me too well.

"Hiei..." he whispered. My head shot up and I looked at him. His expression had changed to doubt. His skeptical eyes scanned me for some trace of truth. But what he wanted, I had no idea.

"Y-yes?" I gulped. What did he intend to do now?

"You told me you loved me. Is that true? Or was it just a trick of you mind? How do you really feel?" he asked me curiously. I wanted to tear myself away from his gaze, but my eyes wouldn't move.

"I-I do...Kurama. I really do love you. But, I was confused...and so I ran from it all. I didn't want to be rejected, and I thought that I would never have you. All this time, I thought you would find someone else and forget about me. I thought I would become nothing more than a shadow to you. I was..." The words rang in my head once again. **_'Don't be afraid, Hiei...don't be afraid'_**

"I was afraid..."I sulked and turned away from him in shame. I had never feared anything before. But that...was another lie. I had been afraid of everything, so I tried to tell myself and make myself believe I was above fear and emotion. I had lied to myself the entire time about being powerful, about being of higher class than others around me, about not loving the one person who cared for me the most. Kurama...I lied to you and to myself. How could you ever forgive me?

"There's no reason for you to be afraid, Hiei. I love you too, and it's not a lie. You don't know how long I'd been waiting for you to say that. I'll never leave you." My eyes opened wide and suddenly, time froze. Those words...he had said them. And they were meant for me. They were only for me.

I turned my body to face him. I gazed deep into his emerald pools. He had spoken the truth. He loved me just the same. My senses became clear and I realized rejection would never fall upon me. Kurama would hold me and never let me fall. He was there for me and would protect me from everything.

He took my face in his hands and looked at me with love and compassion. He leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Now prove to me that you love me just the same. Kiss me, Hiei." He then pulled back and I beamed at him before capturing his lips with my own. We sat like that. It was like a perfect painting. It was all a dream now...with just the two of us.

**A/N:** Are you guys happy now? I'm soooo sorry this took forever to update, but I'm in school again and stuff and I've had projects and things like that. And you know I have the attention span of a bug, so one thing can't really keep me occupied for too long.

**Hiei:** - - That's true...you can't watch the same T.V. show for more than two minutes.

**Ghost:** Nuh-uh...I watch YYH until the very end!! And that's probably one of the only shows where I won't get up during a commercial. (grin)

**Hiei:** - - You really don't have a life do you?

**Ghost:** What would you expect? I'll probably grow up to be a hobo underneath Kroger's warehouse.

**Hiei:** Where'd that come from?

**Ghost:** (shrugs) Dunno....but anyways, REVIEW PEOPLES!!!! REVIEW!!!! And again...sorry for the wait. DON'T HURT ME! (hides)


End file.
